How to love!

I've had my fair share of ups and downs and ins and outs when it comes to relationships but the one that hit me hardest was being in love with someone else's man. Yeah I said it! I fell hard for a man who could never be mine because for that one simple fact...he was married and no matter how much he said the words I love you I knew that love was not as strong as the love for his wife. So finally I made up in my mind that I had to let go. Cold turkey and it was hard at first but I did it. So now my guards are up. Why? Because I got attached to something that I let go that could never be mine anyways. As with any man/woman just as they walk into your life they can walk right out. My father taught me something just by watching his lifestyle from the outside. No matter how long him and his wife were apart she could always comeback home. However, now that he has found someone that he knows has his best interest at heart I'm honestly scared that he might mess it up. But why? Why do we let what's obviously bad for us come between what is good for us? My answer to that is we don't know how to love. Some of you might be saying ok she done lost me but no I haven't. How to love is to love yourself first. Don't put your heart into anyone that has the potential to hurt you. If he/she abuses you mentally, physically and emotionally then that's not love and if you stay then you honestly have no love for yourself. I finally fell in love with me and I must admit even though I may get lonely at times at least I know my heart is shielded!